the problem with trust

a boulder called trust

Most things you do as a leader are hard. But some things you can do and then they’re just done. Other things take continual, unremitting & continuous effort! ‘Trust’ is one of these things. Think of trust like a giant boulder: one that you can’t take your eye off for a moment. One wrong move, one slip and it’ll roll down the hill (probably crushing both your feet in the process). And, when you start to push it up the hill again, it’s EVEN heavier!

it won’t stay where you put it

Why? Because trust is a slippery fish. It’s the intangible glue that holds teams together and allows leaders to be innovative & bold, leading their teams into the most inimical of situations (some of the most daring military leaders in history relied implicitly on the trust they built with their sailors & soldiers). Yet, it’s not like lifting something and placing it on a shelf. Trust won’t naturally stay where you’ve put it. Ignore it, even for a second, and it’s back on the floor.

People talk about building up trust credit and reputational resilience. And, yes, if you’re a leader who is consistent, thoughtful, caring, inclusive, does what you say you will (a rare thing!) then you will build trust credit. But the equation isn’t balanced. Things that add to trustworthiness are HARD. Losing trust is EASY. There’s no science here but think about it as a 10:1 ratio. For a senior leader, it’ll take 10 trust-building actions to counteract the damage of one trust-detracting slip-up. 

the myth of total transparency (and don’t confuse popularity with leadership)

Aha! What about being, like, totally transparent all of the time? That will make me trustworthy AND popular. Unfortunately not. As a leader, at some point, you’re going to know things you can’t tell anyone. You’re going to be asked, by your boss, to make unpalatable decisions. Perhaps someone has to leave the business, someone has to take a pay cut or miss a promotion. In these situations, you’re likely to know a long time before the team. But embargoes mean you won’t be able to say anything until HR says so. No chance of full transparency here.

So try and avoid the over-simplifications. Don’t say things because they’ll win you popularity points. Explain the tough decisions. Take ownership of them. Don’t blame others (especially your bosses, even if it’s their fault). Be unpopular. But do it in a way that makes sense. Be consistent. Be reliable. Popularity might come. But trust will come first.

so what?

No shortcuts. No LinkedIn quick win diagrams. It is, after all, a big hill and a huge boulder. The summit isn’t even in sight. Someone has awarded the position of leader to you; now all you have to do is earn it (and the trust that MIGHT come too)! Just remember to wear steel toe caps for when your concentration lapses, even for a second.

stonefort marine talent includes specific discussions on trust-building in their leadership development programmes. If you’d like to know more, please contact mark.hanson@stonefortmarine-talent.com.

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